A partner and attorney of color I’m coaching recently brought an issue to our session. She came to the call highly charged, passionate and dare I say pissed off! She recently settled a case, achieving a $2.5 million favorable judgment for the client. The relationship partner in another office had referred this client to her. What triggered her ire was a comment from her Practice Group Leader. He called her in and admonished her with the statement, “Why is it that I seem to care more about your career than you do?” He continued to point out how she should have communicated the outcome to the relationship partner and the GC at the client organization. She believed that winning was the most important element of her performance and this feedback was not only an insult, but diminished her success. Her thoughts included the following:
Why are they always stepping on my success?
I worked hard for this, why didn’t he praise me?
I never get the acknowledgement or appreciation I deserve.
I don’t want to endure this anymore; maybe I need to leave.
I listened patiently as she shared her frustration; in fact, she mentioned how her husband bore the brunt of her ire. After this we moved on to the coaching, the insights and the lessons. By the end of our call, this attorney was focused and prepared to embrace the value and importance of self-promotion. She even agreed that the time she used complaining to her husband was better spent sending a couple of key self-promotional emails. Explaining the coaching process is not relevant. What’s relevant is awareness of derailers that create hurdles to the retention and success of diverse attorneys.
Isolation — As a minority in a majority environment, it is common to feel disconnected—almost like an alien in a foreign land. They don’t speak the same language; in fact many around you don’t feel familiar or welcoming. It can be very challenging to express the swagger of a winner under this circumstance. Creating your own team of supporters and cheerleaders is critical.
Personalization — Feeling disconnected makes it quite easy to personalize comments, actions or feedback that may otherwise be well-intended… or not! This is what occurred in the story above. Personalization is ethnically generic, but can be more derailing for diverse attorneys. The ability to tap into the wisdom of a coach or trusted advisor in order to test perceptions and gain an attitude adjustment helps redirect to more productive strategies.
Resilience — The path to success for anyone operating in a majority environment demands resilience. A former boss of mine called it “tough mindedness.” Diverse individuals often hold themselves to a higher standard because they understand that those evaluating them will do the same. Resilience is strengthened when there is crystal clarity about ‘WHAT’ is most important to us. Staying focused there, along with acceptance of those things you can’t control while welcoming small or significant failures as feedback, is a powerful perspective to inhabit.
Comfort and Confidence — An attorney’s ability to engender these two qualities is the foundation of success with both clients and leadership inside the firm. This is the starting point of a personal brand. A word to the wise … Individual attention to the importance of external perceptions starts with an intention to create and cultivate how we are perceived.
At Threshold Advisors we are passionate about the retention and success of diverse attorneys. The key messages outlined above are intended to help bridge the gap between intelligent, capable diverse attorneys and their desired level of success. Happy Holidays and our wishes for a healthy and abundant 2014!