My previous Diversity in Action post identified four hurdles that diverse lawyers face on their path to success. Next, I will take a deeper dive into each individual hurdle in order to build a greater awareness of the impact, while offering more detailed ideas for overcoming each hurdle.
This month, let’s shine the magnifying glass on the experience of isolation. We all understand the concept of isolation, but the real-time experience for lawyers can be detrimental to their advancement, compensation and status, along with more personal consequences, such as stress or anxiety, that isolation can cause.
As an example, a firm hired me to work with a promising senior associate. Our first session has us meeting on a floor that was almost empty except for his office. He told me that he liked being away from most of his colleagues because it was quiet and he didn’t have to worry about anyone observing the disarray that surrounded him. Sure he was an intelligent, high potential, diverse lawyer in a AM Law 25 firm, who was valued for his sharp mind and work ethic, but I was hired to help him gain greater visibility within the firm, along with a more favorable image to establish him for partner consideration. In fact, many partners of the firm’s local office didn’t even know he existed. During our first conversation he expressed concern about being misunderstood along with resenting having to mix and mingle with colleagues with whom he had little in common … or so he thought.
Another scenario resulting in isolation is evidenced with a mid-level associate and lateral hire who was recruited from a highly competitive East Coast firm into a highly collaborative West Coast practice group. She found herself isolated in appearance, style and behavior. Dominating group meetings and behaving as the smartest associate in the room was no longer valued in the team-oriented, more relaxed environment she currently inhabited. Her attire and style also left her visibly different than her peers and colleagues. Her aggressive style had her labeled a know-it-all who was off-putting to new partners and peers. She could not understand why showing off her experience and knowledge was an issue, when it had previously been the key to her success.
Isolation is like being a cat in dog city. The sites and sounds are unfamiliar, can result in getting your back up and can be potentially harmful. I too experienced this early in my career when I moved from the New York metro area to New England (three hours away, but oh so culturally different!). I was the only diverse trainee at a Fortune 500 employer and went on to become the first diverse sales leader on a team populated solely with the ol’ boys (older white males).
Lawyers endure enough job-related stress without adding undue pressure. It is incumbent upon individuals facing this situation to find the resources and grit to thrive under the circumstances. The lessons you learn about yourself and others are invaluable. Strategies for overcoming isolation vary, but first, be alert for the pitfalls.
Resentment, Frustration, Anger — You may experience those in the majority as unaware or even unsympathetic to your plight. This may be unintended… or not. Bottom-line, don’t dwell in feelings or expectations different than the current reality. This often results in disengagement and distraction from personal goals.
Generalization — Be careful of relegating all of “them” as uncaring, disinterested or even racially deficient. In reality they are not a homogenous group. Try working with individuals who you come to understand one at a time, with focused attention.
Withdrawal — It’s easy to avoid feeling unwelcome by putting your head down, staying in your office and just doing the work. Remember the senior associate mentioned above who separated himself from the group. Lack of relationship inside the firm is a career killer.
Whining — Complaining to any or all who will listen, especially those in leadership, is career limiting for most of us, even when we perceive that the environment is unfair. I offer ideas below on alternatives to whining, such as credibility building in order to be perceived differently, thus creating an opportunity for more constructive dialogue.
Reactiveness — Any actions taken in rapid response to specific slights are dangerous. Quitting, complaining or interviewing actively outside the firm, as if grass will be greener elsewhere, is risky.
Strategies to overcome isolation are often simple, although not always easy for busy, in-demand lawyers to execute. Consider the following:
There’s Always a Bridge — The white male majority is not a monolith. There is bound to be someone who shares a common interest, experience or style with you. Be persistent in finding this bridge. I’m reminded of a conversation with a Jewish partner who shared similar experiences of isolation in his early years.
Join Affinity Groups or Organizations — This is tried and true, although many lawyers make this their sole point of connection. Rather than joining to earn the status an organization provides, create a forum expressly designed to offer fellowship, understanding and support for those in need of empathy. Many legal organizations focus on career or social status with limited support for life and career challenges.
Identify/Access a Support Team — Sometimes easier said than done for hardworking lawyers with little extra time. The fact is, doing good work is not the sole element that generates success. Everyone should have an experienced, wise and sympathetic ear to help them through the hard times. This could be a colleague outside the firm, a parent, a coach or a mentor. Use your resources!
Establish Credibility — This is the point at which good work, playing a successful inside-the-firm game and self-promotion intersect to help establish a strong foundation for credibility. This can afford you the opportunity to influence and help change (yes, gradually) the system. When credibility is present, leadership listens in an entirely different way.
Build Your Brand — A recognizable personal brand is a natural leverage point for exercising earned credibility. Conscientiously building your brand makes you a beacon for like-minded colleagues across the firm and positions you for “pull relationships” rather than “push relationships” that require more time to establish. Search for role models, decide on how you want to be perceived and work on creating this perception in your thoughts, communications and behaviors.
Warmer temperatures are around the corner, which is a perfect reason to get out of your office and build bridges that support your desired career momentum. Enjoy your summer!