by Karen Kahn

“Why are many senior women lawyers reluctant to help younger women lawyers?  They exist in a world of their own and won’t join the women’s initiative and activities.  Why is that?”   I was asked these questions by some younger women partners yesterday.  They have been rattling around in my brain every since, after all, many of these women are my age peers.  I should have some insights into their psyches, right?  I raised the questions with a senior woman partner friend of mine and a fascinating conversation ensued.   I have heard people characterize Boomer Women Lawyers as thinking “No one helped me so why should I help you (younger women)?”  My friend and I don’t think that this desire to “pass on the misery” to the younger generation motivates most experienced woman lawyers.  Rather, we have two thoughts:

1. From day one, in order to succeed Boomer women lawyers had to focus, focus, focus.  Distractions, dropping the ball, mediocrity, any performance less than stellar was not an option.  As result relationships were eliminated from consciousness and serious, concentrated, “I can do this no matter what” thinking prevailed.  Never deviating from a “me against the world (all other lawyers)” may come across as uncaring now, but “back then” resulted in success and remains today as a viable practice model for many women who felt like they practiced alone.
2. This point I have rarely, if ever, read anything about, which I find fascinating.  Many of us that were educated and trained in the sixties, seventies and very early eighties, have “secret” stories of being abused by professional men.  Often, we just accepted these “indiscretions” as our professional initiations and relegated the “professional shame” to our deep subconscious.  As my friend and I talked we both acknowledged that, as a result, we may carry an undercurrent of anger that, at times, could block a “warm fuzzy” disposition. In addition,many women sought to practice in isolation where they were protected from unwarranted comments, behaviors and exclusion.  Welcoming others onto the “island,” for some, is too little too late.

What are the practical applications of such awareness?  Some of us have left our caves and rigorously, with a sense of legacy, reached out to younger women.  In fact, some of us are even worried about younger women who, with bright eyed senses of self-awareness, seem naive to some current realities that may impact their ability to succeed.  Perhaps others of us need to be approached and asked about our stories and what we need as opposed to be expected to give just because we survived.  A comprehensive women’s initiative must attend to the challenges, opportunities and needs of women at all points on the experiential continuum.  Perhaps inclusivity across all ages will inspire fuller collaboration.