by Kathleen Bradley

That’s what a finger wagging managing partner said to me when I suggested that he invest in developing the leadership skills of his partners before I do what he was asking me to do — deliver a very expensive leadership development program to his senior associates.  In my mind (and, in truth, in the minds of most leadership experts), successful leadership development within a firm or corporation is a top down exercise.  Leaders at the top must first be able to model effective leadership before they ask their subordinates to invest time and effort in this type of development.  If they do not themselves model the leadership competencies that their associates will learn in such a program, they lose credibility in the eyes of their associates and their firm fails to get an effective return on investment when the associates fail to truly engage.

Setting aside for the moment the hopelessness that the managing partner’s comment means for a man older than 29 ever being able to recover from an addiction or lifestyle illness or to mend a marital problem, change is difficult for everyone, regardless of age or gender.  The topic of change has been addressed in Alan Deutschman’s 2007 book, Change or Die:  The Three Keys to Change at Work and in Life.  The question that the book seeks to address is this:

“CHANGE OR DIE. What if you were given that choice?  For real.  We’re talking actual life and death now. Your own life and death. What if a well-informed, trusted authority figure said you had to make difficult and enduring changes in the way you think, feel, and act? If you didn’t, your time would end soon–a lot sooner than it had to. Could you change when change mattered most?”

Deutschman concludes that, although we all have the ability to change our behavior, we rarely ever do — from patients suffering from heart or lung disease who can’t lose weight or give up smoking, to repeat criminal offenders circulating through the prison system, to entrepreneurs and companies who continue to implement unsuccessful business models or strategies.

Yet, there is hope!  Based on his research and the contributions of a variety of leaders in medicine, science, and business, Deutschman demonstrates how any of us can achieve positive and enduring change.  He identifies three keys to changing the deep-rooted patterns of how we think, feel, and act.  They are:

• Relate – Build a new relationship with a person or community who believes you can and will change.  Depending on the type of change you wish to make, this could be an executive coach or a coaching or other support group, a mentor, a personal trainer, or a church or community group.
• Repeat – Making a change requires new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. It can take a lot of repetition to master and integrate these new ways of being. Your person or community “trains” you by providing guidance, encouragement, and direction until your new behavior becomes automatic and natural.
• Reframe – Over time, as you continue to relate and repeat, you see the world in a different way, making your former perspective seem foreign.  Eventually, you internalize the change, making it permanent.

What does this mean for lawyers?  For those who need to develop new skills in areas like business development and leadership, they can break out of a mindset or a habitual behavior (like fearing networking events or being ineffective communicators or leaders) by reaching out for support and practicing new skills.  That’s what executive coaching offers to lawyers – a process for doing just that and a person committed to supporting them along the way.

Oh, and what happened with the leadership program that the managing partner insisted on implementing against my advice?  Halfway through the program, the lawyers voiced the question, “Are we going to sit around and put up with mediocre leadership for the next 5 to 10 years until we get a seat at the table and our chance to lead this firm?”  And, within 12 months after the end of the program, a third of these very talented and valuable associates left the firm.